Week 2

It looks like being a manager means nothing as Jon and Hong both fell out of the ranks of the undefeated, leaving only Thomas, Tae, and Ben as the sole owners of winning records. With a week that featured some explosive performances but also a whole bunch of duds, it’s obvious that the NFL season has a billion surprises up its sleeve. Who’s willing to bet on Derek Anderson and his incredible 5-TD performance continuing into the season?

Gutty Little Bruins (2649) vs Ask About Meeee!!! (2013)
Behind number one draft pick Drew Brees, Will’s team took a big lead and ran away with this week’s game by the end of the first quarter. Oh wait. That’s not what happened. Here’s how it really went down: Behind Drew Brees’ disappointing 1 TD and 1 interception performance, the commissioner fell to 0-2 on the season. The good news is that Joey Galloway had an amazing day with 410 points. Plus, his receiving mate Andre Johnson continued to impress with 395 points. Then again, Johnson did get injured during the game and nobody knows how long he might be out. Will may have to change his team name to “Why Me!?!” if he can’t pull out a victory soon.

The Gutty Bruins didn’t need much to win but Steve Smith proved that he’s the best receiver in football by recording 3 TDs and a shocking 526 points. While Marion Barber III looks like the clear winner of the Dallas RB battle, it’s not exactly encouraging that Larry Johnson notched a lowly 189 points while the other starting RB for the Bruins, Laurence Maroney continues to be the one underperforming Patriot player. Still, it’s hard to complain about a 2-0 record and second place in the league.

RenEgadez (2580) vs El Nino’s (2198)
It’s hard not to improve on a losing 1665 point showing last week but the RenEgadez apparently felt so confident in their abilities for a Week 2 win that they neglected to substitute out injured QB Steve McNair. While slightly unorthodox, it seemed like the intimidation factor worked as a suddenly healthy Eli Manning couldn’t throw the El Nino’s to victory – even with nice performances from RBs Willie Parker and Brian Westbrook (700 pts combined). With two non-scoring players (McNair and K Josh Scobee), the RenEgadez benefited from a career game by Carson Palmer (6 TDs, 627 pts) and a continued push from Edgerrin James (370 pts) back into elite status. We’d recommend subbing in a healthy QB next week though Rene, maybe.

Team Rich (2661) vs Call Me Mr. G (1974)
Steven Jackson is single handedly killing Call Me Mr G. You can’t have a first round pick produce sub-par games like Jackson’s been having -- two games of about 60 yards rushing and not much else, no TDs -- and expect to win. The good news is: Well, there’s not a whole lot of good news from this week for Jermaine. They got throttled across the board by Team RICH’s powerhouse combination of Tom Brady (391 pts) and Jamal Lewis (492 pts) – plus TE Kellen Winslow (290 pts). While Lee Evans and Maurice Jones-Drew are looking like early season busts, Rich had enough behind the fearless Brady to pick up their first win of the season. Rich will be entering a pivotal Week 3 battle as he attempts to leave his mark on Omnis by exiting with a win. Let’s wish him luck.

Vultures (2514) vs Redskins!!! (2207)
Our very own Heineken player of the week, Thomas, showed that he was no one week wonder by using a plethora of big performances to maintain pole position. If we thought little David (aka Chris) had a chance against our resident Goliath, those hopes were quickly dashed as Peyton Manning slightly underperformed with 300 pts, and Vince Young’s 320 points wasn’t quite enough against the best of the best.

Did anyone think that a team with LaDainian Tomlinson would highlight the pass? That’s exactly what the Vultures are doing with Chad Johnson (593 pts), Randy Moss (370 pts), and a still dependable Hines Ward leading the way. QBs Tony Romo and Ben Roethlisberger are proving to be steady hands – and explosive to boot after last week. If LT and the other running backs get it in gear, the Vultures could be in for a glorious regular season. Chris’ Redskins? Well, at least the real-life Redskins are 2-0. That’s gotta count for something right?

StickIT2Em (2157) vs The Dog Killers (2136)
Whew, what a game! Trailing by only a handful of points entering Monday night, StickIT2Em’s Clinton Portis rushed for 69 yards and a touchdown (217 pts) to power his team to a win against the Eages/Dog Killer’s defense (115 pts). Winning by 21 points isn’t sexy but it sure was a nail biter as Jake Delhomme aired it out for 425 points (to a streaking Deion Branch, 279 pts) to overcome the performances of Marc Bulger (339 pts) and TJ Houshmandzadeh (298 pts). There’s not many consoling words to say after a narrow defeat but chances are, somebody cheated and stole signs, I’ll guarantee it.

Next week: Call me Mr. G versus Ask About Me!, one of these 0-2 games will pick up a win. Who will it be?